Kurt
"Where the fuck are they?"
Lucy
"We've been here, ready for half an hour Christ I can't stand this waiting."
Loud bang on the shop door.
Male Voice
"Open up, Police."
More loud bangs as the police try to force the door open. The men inside shout in Spanish. Two of them check the tunnel. There are shouts in Spanish that there are more men coming up the tunnel. One of the men opens fire into the tunnel. The door of the shop breaks open police enter. One of the mexicans opens fire hitting two police officers they shoot back a gun battle ensues inside the shop. Kurt gets shot trying to run towards the police shouting he's on Globetrotters. Lucy attempts to get back to the tunnel as Mexican troops come out one of the Mexican drug dealers jumps down next to her and shoots at the troops who return fire killing them both.Police and troops swarm all over the premises.
Cuts to Johnny back in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I can't believe it! So close and yet so far! That's such a pity, made for great TV though. What a way to go out! That'll going to be on our Christmas special for sure. All Sami and Carl have
to do now is get the money back and get out!"
Then cuts back to Sami and Carl as they come out of the tunnel with the bags.The boy follows them everywhere. The same men are standing around waiting for them.
Carl
"Here it is this is everything that they gave us. We didn't count it but it looks like its all there."
1st Man
"I would expect it to be, Youve done what was required of you, there are people from your show out there."
Sami
"Have we won? Have we won? Please tell us we can't have lost to them two, please tell me?"
2nd Man
"We don't know, I personally hope you have won you deserve to, you did well. If you ever need a job why don't you come down to the border towns, I'm sure we could put both of you to good use and you could earn some good money, just something to think about."
Carl
"Thanks we'll bear that in mind."
They walk outside where a Globetrotter helicopter is waiting for them. The boy still follows them. A reporter and film crew are waiting for them.
Chris Henderson
"Welcome guys! Well done on completing the challenge."
Carl
"Have we won?"
Chris Henderson
"We're going to go back to the studio to announce that Carl. Lets get going."
Sami
"You must be joking right we have to wait to find out if we won! Oh come on, thats just ridiculous tell me you asshole, have you any idea what we've had to do? Have you any idea what I'm capable of doing?"
Chris Henderson
"I'm afraid I can't do that, don't know its a secret."
Carl
"Come on lets just get the fuck out of here. Say goodbye to the kid."
Sami puts her arm round the boy.
Sami
"He's coming with us. I'm going to keep him. He's going to be my little souvenir from Mexico."
Chris Henderson
"I don't think we can do that Sami, he'll have to stay here, I don't even know if there will be room in the helicopter."
Carl
"Are you sure about this?"
Sami
"I want him more than anything else we can adopt him I mean how celebrity is that? How cool will that make us look? We'll be rescuing our own little killer Just think about it."
Carl
"Well when you put it like that, come on son lets go."
Sami takes the boy by the hand and they walk to the helicopter. The boy smiles but still doesn't say anything. The Mexican gangsters standing around laugh as they get on board the helicopter.
Pilot
"We don't have the room for anyone else the kid can't get on."
Chris Henderson
"See he can't come, Its very touching Sami and it really shows your maternal side...."
Sami kicks Henderson in the gut and knocks him out of the helicopter.
Sam
"Plenty of room now, Go! Are you fucking deaf go!"
The pilot shrugs and takes off leaving Henderson standing on the ground shouting. Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"What an ending! What a series folks! We'll have them back here soon when we'll let them know that they've won. I bet the suspense is killing them. We're going to have a quick word with Natarsha Metsacker who is outside the shop where Kurt and lucy are, Natarsha, can you tell us whats happening there?"
Cuts to Natarsha Metsacker in the street outside the shop. The street is crowded with police and ambulances and people having a look at what has happened.
Natarsha Metsacker
"Hi Johnny I'm outside the shop where Kurt and Lucy's bodies are, and where their trot around the globe came to an end, I think we're all quite shocked at whats happened to them. What a way to end their adventure, I'm joined here by Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Told you we would get them. I'd sooner have had them in cuffs right now but sometimes if you play with fire you get burnt. And you know to make things worse what they brought over, or should I say under the border was worthless."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Worthless so even if they had survived they wouldn't have won the game."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Chances are if we hadn't of got them the buyers would have, told you this is a very dangerous game. We were tipped off by sources in Mexico."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Thank you Captain and keep up the good work. We're just going to ask a few of the bystanders what their thoughts are on this, excuse me sir did you know two contestants from Globetrotters are among the dead?"
Bystander
"What, oh really? Thats terrible news. Who was it in there?"
Natarsha Metsacker
They are both dead it was Kurt and Lucy.
Bystander
"OH what! Thats a shame I had $50 on them to win. Suppose my money is gone now. That means Sami and Carl have won. I knew I should have put some money on them. I just knew it."
Bodies are carried out on stretchers in the background.
Woman
"Well I'm glad they got what they deserve, they were just horrible. What that Lucy did to that lovely man Jack just awful. But it has been a great show this year."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Some mixed reactions down here Johnny only thing we can say for sure is that everybody has really enjoyed this series, back to you in the studio."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"This has been the best series ever I've never been so excited. What a finale ! What a last couple of weeks its been for our contestants! And now ladies and gentlemen I give you the winners of Globetrotters Sami and Carl!"
Sami and Carl and Pedro walk out onto the set. The crowd are all on their feet cheering and clapping. Ticker tape women in bikinis. They are given bouquets of flowers.
Carl
"Hey Johnny hello everyone! Whoooo! Yesssssss! That was an adventure and no mistake!"
Sami
"We did it! We did it! That was the best fun Johnny! And not only did we win we got to save this wonderful young man."
Johnny Paradis'
"I must say I think you are very deserving winners. You're what's best in our society, Sami and Carl, I'm proud to say I know you. You took on every challenge head on and didn't take a backward step all the way. When it got tough you showed your true colours. You showed us that fame and fortune always come at a price. And heres your price $20,000,000! How good is that?"
They are handed a large novelty cheque.
Carl
"I just want to say thank you Johnny, thank you to all the wonderful people who have helped us along the way, all the other contestants, you guys were great, you really pushed us. And a really big thank you to Globetrotters! You don't know how important this was to us."
Sami
"I just want to thank all our friends and family for their support all the way through."
Johnny Paradis'
"What a final this has been! We've had gun fights decapitations does it get any better than this? And on another note we've seen how Globetrotters brings people together, just look at those guys with young Pedro. It's so sweet it nearly brings a tear to my eye. What a show! what a series! We're back next week folks with our highlights show. Thats something not to be missed! And don't you worry we'll be back next year bigger and better with another amazing series of Globetrotters. Lets hear it for our winners Sami and Carl! Fame and fortune are all yours! And don't you deserve it? Whats the catchphrase people?"
The audience starts chanting now thats an adventure. Contestants wave cuts to closing credits for Globetrotters.
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
THE END
Showing posts with label Mexico. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mexico. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Episode 15
Cuts to the border crossing. On the Mexican side. Queues of cars in the background lots of Police and soldiers.
Natarsha Metsacker
"Thanks Johnny, this is going to be the toughest challenge our contestants have faced, prior to this they could nearly always bribe their way into the challenge as we saw with the people smuggling. Money is not in short supply here, the Mexican drug trade is estimated at anywhere up $39,000,000,000 a year and last year there were nearly 19,000 deaths related to the cartels and the war on drugs. These guys don't mess around. Our contestants could be smuggling a wide range of contraband marijuana, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, guns we really won't know until they meet their contacts inside the cartels and then comes the task of persuading them to let them help. I'm joined now by Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV from the McDonalds USA Border Patrol...After a hard day on the border there is nothing like a burger, and from Grupo Bimbo Mexican Federal Police....When you think of bread you have to think of Bimbo. Captain Jorge Arellano."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Good evening Natarsha and good evening viewers, welcome to the border."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"Hola y recepción a México good evening everyone."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Gentlemen you've heard what tonights challenge is, what are your first thoughts?"
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Well first of all I really hope that they don't persuade the cartels to let them assist them in their illegal activities they'll be risking their lives and their liberty, these people in the cartels are not to be trusted I have grave fears for their safety."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"I agree with the Captain totally they're being very foolish, even if they do get the chance to help them, we'll be there to catch them and bring them to justice."
Natarsha Metsacker
"So you would consider this a very dangerous challenge for our two teams."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Oh yes, I follow the show closely and this is by far their most dangerous challenge. And even if they attempt it we will catch them make no mistake about that. We are watching and waiting, we are ever vigilant and ever willing and able to do our duty because we are The McDonalds USA Border Patrol."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"We will be coming after them from both sides of the border...."
Natarsha Metsacker
"I see what you gentlemen are saying but you are always attacking the cartels from both sides of the border and yet an estimated $39,000,000,000 of contraband crosses the border every year and the death toll continues to climb year on year as do the Cartels profits, power and influence. We are obviously losing this war."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"I couldn't disagree with you more. Why only last week we uncovered a cross border tunnel arrested 11 cartel members and seized drugs with a street value of $15,000,000."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Well I'm sure that has really slowed down their operations Captain. Thank you for your time gentlemen."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Thank you I wish your contestants all the best, but I don't think they will be able to do it."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"Thank you."
Natarsha Metsacker
"It would appear that our contestants biggest threat comes from the Cartels and not from the authorities but time will tell how this all plays out and now its back to you in the studio Johnny."
Cuts back to the studio.Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Its all go, go, go on the border and we'll be right back to see how are contestants are doing, right after this message from our good friends at OmniCam."
Cuts to vision of people all shown from the camera holders point of view. Changes then to scenes of man and women kissing, kids drag racing or smoking from bongs. Again all shown from that persons point of view. There is a voice over.
Voice
"Do you ever wonder where your husband or wife is? When they say they are working late or playing golf are you really sure thats where they are? When your son or daughter tells you they are going to a friends house, are you ever really sure thats where they will be? At OmniCam we can help you."
Cuts to infomercial guy showing a range of cameras and images flash behind him of snapshots and videos.
Infomercial Guy
"We have a wide range of cameras that can provide you and your family with the security and knowledge you all deserve and with these button cameras you'll never wonder where or what they are doing again, they come in a huge range to match any button you may have and they transmit excellent pictures and audio direct to your computer. Never miss anything again that your nearest and dearest does."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge room. In front of a large TV with images of a fire being started by the person doing the filming.
Woman
"It was thanks to OmniCam that we found out our son was an arsonist and we were able to have him put into a secure facility, he's so happy there now, and we don't have the worry of the house burning down and the neighbours are talking to us again."
Cuts to a man in his house. In front of a large TV images of the gardner and a woman then inside the house then in bed together.
Man
"It's a terrible cliche but my wife was sleeping with gardener and its thanks to OmniCam that she got to keep him and I got to keep everything else. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Cuts back to infomercial guy.
Infomercial Guy
"Those are just two of our many happy clients. Peace of mind now does have a price. And it's a lot cheaper than you might think. Be with the ones you love wherever they are see what they see and hear what they hear. OmniCam....Whatever you see we see."
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I know I've said it before but I'll say it again I just love OmniCam, I know where my loved ones are all the time and what they are doing. Remember guys daddies watching ha,ha,ha,ha. Now lets go back to our contestants and see how the negotiations are going on."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Thanks Johnny, this is going to be the toughest challenge our contestants have faced, prior to this they could nearly always bribe their way into the challenge as we saw with the people smuggling. Money is not in short supply here, the Mexican drug trade is estimated at anywhere up $39,000,000,000 a year and last year there were nearly 19,000 deaths related to the cartels and the war on drugs. These guys don't mess around. Our contestants could be smuggling a wide range of contraband marijuana, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, guns we really won't know until they meet their contacts inside the cartels and then comes the task of persuading them to let them help. I'm joined now by Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV from the McDonalds USA Border Patrol...After a hard day on the border there is nothing like a burger, and from Grupo Bimbo Mexican Federal Police....When you think of bread you have to think of Bimbo. Captain Jorge Arellano."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Good evening Natarsha and good evening viewers, welcome to the border."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"Hola y recepción a México good evening everyone."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Gentlemen you've heard what tonights challenge is, what are your first thoughts?"
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Well first of all I really hope that they don't persuade the cartels to let them assist them in their illegal activities they'll be risking their lives and their liberty, these people in the cartels are not to be trusted I have grave fears for their safety."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"I agree with the Captain totally they're being very foolish, even if they do get the chance to help them, we'll be there to catch them and bring them to justice."
Natarsha Metsacker
"So you would consider this a very dangerous challenge for our two teams."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Oh yes, I follow the show closely and this is by far their most dangerous challenge. And even if they attempt it we will catch them make no mistake about that. We are watching and waiting, we are ever vigilant and ever willing and able to do our duty because we are The McDonalds USA Border Patrol."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"We will be coming after them from both sides of the border...."
Natarsha Metsacker
"I see what you gentlemen are saying but you are always attacking the cartels from both sides of the border and yet an estimated $39,000,000,000 of contraband crosses the border every year and the death toll continues to climb year on year as do the Cartels profits, power and influence. We are obviously losing this war."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"I couldn't disagree with you more. Why only last week we uncovered a cross border tunnel arrested 11 cartel members and seized drugs with a street value of $15,000,000."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Well I'm sure that has really slowed down their operations Captain. Thank you for your time gentlemen."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Thank you I wish your contestants all the best, but I don't think they will be able to do it."
Captain Jorge Arellano
"Thank you."
Natarsha Metsacker
"It would appear that our contestants biggest threat comes from the Cartels and not from the authorities but time will tell how this all plays out and now its back to you in the studio Johnny."
Cuts back to the studio.Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Its all go, go, go on the border and we'll be right back to see how are contestants are doing, right after this message from our good friends at OmniCam."
Cuts to vision of people all shown from the camera holders point of view. Changes then to scenes of man and women kissing, kids drag racing or smoking from bongs. Again all shown from that persons point of view. There is a voice over.
Voice
"Do you ever wonder where your husband or wife is? When they say they are working late or playing golf are you really sure thats where they are? When your son or daughter tells you they are going to a friends house, are you ever really sure thats where they will be? At OmniCam we can help you."
Cuts to infomercial guy showing a range of cameras and images flash behind him of snapshots and videos.
Infomercial Guy
"We have a wide range of cameras that can provide you and your family with the security and knowledge you all deserve and with these button cameras you'll never wonder where or what they are doing again, they come in a huge range to match any button you may have and they transmit excellent pictures and audio direct to your computer. Never miss anything again that your nearest and dearest does."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge room. In front of a large TV with images of a fire being started by the person doing the filming.
Woman
"It was thanks to OmniCam that we found out our son was an arsonist and we were able to have him put into a secure facility, he's so happy there now, and we don't have the worry of the house burning down and the neighbours are talking to us again."
Cuts to a man in his house. In front of a large TV images of the gardner and a woman then inside the house then in bed together.
Man
"It's a terrible cliche but my wife was sleeping with gardener and its thanks to OmniCam that she got to keep him and I got to keep everything else. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Cuts back to infomercial guy.
Infomercial Guy
"Those are just two of our many happy clients. Peace of mind now does have a price. And it's a lot cheaper than you might think. Be with the ones you love wherever they are see what they see and hear what they hear. OmniCam....Whatever you see we see."
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I know I've said it before but I'll say it again I just love OmniCam, I know where my loved ones are all the time and what they are doing. Remember guys daddies watching ha,ha,ha,ha. Now lets go back to our contestants and see how the negotiations are going on."
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Episode 14
Applause and cheers from the audience. Cuts to a room the four contestants are there. We see them from their own cameras and form the ipods. Their images appear on the giant video screen.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now onto the final challenge and our final two teams. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Carl and Sami and Kurt and Lucy good evening finalists!"
Applause and cheers from the audience.
Carl
"Johnny how are you? Good to see you again."
Sami
"Hey Johnny we made it!"
Kurt
"Whats the challenge? We just want to get started."
Lucy
"I'm pumped and ready to rock n' roll."
Johnny Paradis'
"You all sound up for this weeks challenge."
Kurt
"Ready willing and able Johnny, it all comes down to the next seven days and we are going to give it everything. Coming second is not an option for us. Why second is just first of the losers and thats something we sure ain't."
Carl
"It's not an option Kurt it's an inevitability, you are going to come second. Just want to let you know. You may as well give up now."
Lucy
"Yeah you talk it up, but you know it's ours, you guys just don't have what it takes you never did and you never will you're weak and the whole world is going to see that real soon."
Sami
"All that from a back stabbing two faced bitch....If I were you Kurt I'd be watching her all the time. You're going to need eyes in the back of your head."
Johnny Paradis'
"Well no love lost between our teams is there ha,ha,ha,ha but did we really expect to feel the love at this stage? I doubt it. And do we want it? No, is my answer to that question."
Carl
"I've had no love for them since day one. I mean who could like either of them?"
Lucy
"You and her are just oxygen thieves I hope you get what you deserve in this challenge, which is precisely fuck-all. No let me rephrase that a painful, slow death would be your just deserts."
Sami
"Well hopefully somebody will put us all out of our misery and put you down in this challenge and I mean down in the ground. You are just one unpleasant bitch."
Johnny
"Think we better get these guys separated before they tear each other apart ha,ha,ha,ha
lets get onto the challenge, our contestants tonight find themselves in Mexico near the border with the good old US of A. Their task is to convince, bribe or do whatever they need to do to ensure they get to work with two of the most notorious cartels here in the border regions. Whom we have put them in contact with through our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven. Now these guys have not agreed to let our contestants help them, at this point all they'll do is meet them, if and when they persuade them to help they could be smuggling marijuana, methamphetamine, heroin, to a minimum of $5,000,000. They won't find out until they are trying to get across the border, then they must take payment for the shipment and get the cash back to the cartel. But as a bonus guys, anything you can make above the $5,000,000 asking price is yours to keep, though I imagine trying to barter with the buyers could pose a few problems.""
Carl
"Thats great! Can't wait to start this challenge was made for us."
Lucy
"We are so going to win this challenge with our nerves and negotiating skills I think we'll win the competition plus a nice little bonus on top."
Kurt
"I'll let my actions do the talking Johnny. You can ask me how we did it after we pick up the prize. You may as well make out the cheque right now."
Sami
"You two are all wind and piss talk, talk, talk we're going to walk all over you. Thats if they even get to attempt the challenge I mean who is going to trust them two?"
Johnny Paradis'
"This is going to be a no holds barred final I can tell ! And thats just what we've come to expect from these two teams."
Kurt
"Nothing we won't do to win Johnny, nothing."
Johnny Paradis'
"You've already proved that to us Kurt no doubt about that. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in action this week."
Sami
"I think he's just desperate, trying to talk himself up, I'm so ruthless, I'm so tough, I'm such a mean motherfucker . Your silly little mind games aren't going to work on us."
Lucy
"Thats because you don't have a mind for it to work on you two have to be the most stupid people I've ever met. You think you can beat us? Please. You must be on some seriously powerful drugs."
Carl
"Whats it like being you Lucy? It's all talk, Sami is right. We'll see you when you give us the cheque Johnny."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Cheers and applause from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats two very focused teams we have here both of them very determined to win. This is going to be something to remember folks. Don't look away for a second. Who knows what you'll miss? But it's sure to be good and just imagine that awkward conversation round the water cooler having to explain how you missed the show and don't know what anyone is talking about. Well contestants its bye for now people, you'll be introduced to the people you need to meet very soon and we'll be catching up with you then. All I can say now is to wish you, like our global audience of one point five billion does is good luck! Whats our catchphrase folks?"
Cuts back to the contestants.
Carl Sami and Kurt and Lucy
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"It sure is for those guys and the best is yet to come. And we'll be right back after this message from our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is like an infomercial presenter. Ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"When someone says cruise do you want to snooze? If someone says lovely coach tours do you think they're bores? If you answered yes we have some great African adventures for you, three weeks with North African pirates or how about a month with a warlord in sub-Saharan Africa? Rape pillage and plunder to your hearts content, Does that sound like you? We can help you organise the holiday of a lifetime. Here are some of our happy clients who made it home just listen to what they have to say."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room large TV showing his holiday videos. Attacking a village in Africa.
Client one
"We had the best three weeks of my life, we lived with a warlord went on two raids into the villages and towns and took part in a massacre! Several interrogations, and boy don't they know how to make someone talk it was just the best fun. We're already thinking about our next holiday in hell."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge large TV showing her holiday video boarding a supertanker with pirates.
Client two
"We took the whole family and got to board and take control of a super tanker held the crew hostage and even helped with the negotiations. I can tell you we'll never forget this holiday. It was excitement from start to finish. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Presenter
"No matter what you want to do, no matter what laws or taboos you want to break here at Extreme Tourism we can help you plan that perfect holiday, just call one of our friendly consultants or check our online package deals we've got something for everyone, no matter what your tastes are because remember Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"How could you not have fun on holidays like those, seriously, I've had three holidays with Extreme Tourism and I've loved every minute of them. You know you deserve a holiday and those
guys will make sure you have one, one you will never forget. We now know what are contestants challenge is and before we get to see how they go with their negotiations let's get some background information on the cartels that control the border area and what their methods are. And who better to give us all that than our very own Natarsha Metsacker."
Cuts to the border crossing. On the Mexican side. Queues of cars in the background lots of Police and soldiers.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now onto the final challenge and our final two teams. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Carl and Sami and Kurt and Lucy good evening finalists!"
Applause and cheers from the audience.
Carl
"Johnny how are you? Good to see you again."
Sami
"Hey Johnny we made it!"
Kurt
"Whats the challenge? We just want to get started."
Lucy
"I'm pumped and ready to rock n' roll."
Johnny Paradis'
"You all sound up for this weeks challenge."
Kurt
"Ready willing and able Johnny, it all comes down to the next seven days and we are going to give it everything. Coming second is not an option for us. Why second is just first of the losers and thats something we sure ain't."
Carl
"It's not an option Kurt it's an inevitability, you are going to come second. Just want to let you know. You may as well give up now."
Lucy
"Yeah you talk it up, but you know it's ours, you guys just don't have what it takes you never did and you never will you're weak and the whole world is going to see that real soon."
Sami
"All that from a back stabbing two faced bitch....If I were you Kurt I'd be watching her all the time. You're going to need eyes in the back of your head."
Johnny Paradis'
"Well no love lost between our teams is there ha,ha,ha,ha but did we really expect to feel the love at this stage? I doubt it. And do we want it? No, is my answer to that question."
Carl
"I've had no love for them since day one. I mean who could like either of them?"
Lucy
"You and her are just oxygen thieves I hope you get what you deserve in this challenge, which is precisely fuck-all. No let me rephrase that a painful, slow death would be your just deserts."
Sami
"Well hopefully somebody will put us all out of our misery and put you down in this challenge and I mean down in the ground. You are just one unpleasant bitch."
Johnny
"Think we better get these guys separated before they tear each other apart ha,ha,ha,ha
lets get onto the challenge, our contestants tonight find themselves in Mexico near the border with the good old US of A. Their task is to convince, bribe or do whatever they need to do to ensure they get to work with two of the most notorious cartels here in the border regions. Whom we have put them in contact with through our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven. Now these guys have not agreed to let our contestants help them, at this point all they'll do is meet them, if and when they persuade them to help they could be smuggling marijuana, methamphetamine, heroin, to a minimum of $5,000,000. They won't find out until they are trying to get across the border, then they must take payment for the shipment and get the cash back to the cartel. But as a bonus guys, anything you can make above the $5,000,000 asking price is yours to keep, though I imagine trying to barter with the buyers could pose a few problems.""
Carl
"Thats great! Can't wait to start this challenge was made for us."
Lucy
"We are so going to win this challenge with our nerves and negotiating skills I think we'll win the competition plus a nice little bonus on top."
Kurt
"I'll let my actions do the talking Johnny. You can ask me how we did it after we pick up the prize. You may as well make out the cheque right now."
Sami
"You two are all wind and piss talk, talk, talk we're going to walk all over you. Thats if they even get to attempt the challenge I mean who is going to trust them two?"
Johnny Paradis'
"This is going to be a no holds barred final I can tell ! And thats just what we've come to expect from these two teams."
Kurt
"Nothing we won't do to win Johnny, nothing."
Johnny Paradis'
"You've already proved that to us Kurt no doubt about that. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in action this week."
Sami
"I think he's just desperate, trying to talk himself up, I'm so ruthless, I'm so tough, I'm such a mean motherfucker . Your silly little mind games aren't going to work on us."
Lucy
"Thats because you don't have a mind for it to work on you two have to be the most stupid people I've ever met. You think you can beat us? Please. You must be on some seriously powerful drugs."
Carl
"Whats it like being you Lucy? It's all talk, Sami is right. We'll see you when you give us the cheque Johnny."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Cheers and applause from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats two very focused teams we have here both of them very determined to win. This is going to be something to remember folks. Don't look away for a second. Who knows what you'll miss? But it's sure to be good and just imagine that awkward conversation round the water cooler having to explain how you missed the show and don't know what anyone is talking about. Well contestants its bye for now people, you'll be introduced to the people you need to meet very soon and we'll be catching up with you then. All I can say now is to wish you, like our global audience of one point five billion does is good luck! Whats our catchphrase folks?"
Cuts back to the contestants.
Carl Sami and Kurt and Lucy
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"It sure is for those guys and the best is yet to come. And we'll be right back after this message from our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is like an infomercial presenter. Ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"When someone says cruise do you want to snooze? If someone says lovely coach tours do you think they're bores? If you answered yes we have some great African adventures for you, three weeks with North African pirates or how about a month with a warlord in sub-Saharan Africa? Rape pillage and plunder to your hearts content, Does that sound like you? We can help you organise the holiday of a lifetime. Here are some of our happy clients who made it home just listen to what they have to say."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room large TV showing his holiday videos. Attacking a village in Africa.
Client one
"We had the best three weeks of my life, we lived with a warlord went on two raids into the villages and towns and took part in a massacre! Several interrogations, and boy don't they know how to make someone talk it was just the best fun. We're already thinking about our next holiday in hell."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge large TV showing her holiday video boarding a supertanker with pirates.
Client two
"We took the whole family and got to board and take control of a super tanker held the crew hostage and even helped with the negotiations. I can tell you we'll never forget this holiday. It was excitement from start to finish. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Presenter
"No matter what you want to do, no matter what laws or taboos you want to break here at Extreme Tourism we can help you plan that perfect holiday, just call one of our friendly consultants or check our online package deals we've got something for everyone, no matter what your tastes are because remember Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"How could you not have fun on holidays like those, seriously, I've had three holidays with Extreme Tourism and I've loved every minute of them. You know you deserve a holiday and those
guys will make sure you have one, one you will never forget. We now know what are contestants challenge is and before we get to see how they go with their negotiations let's get some background information on the cartels that control the border area and what their methods are. And who better to give us all that than our very own Natarsha Metsacker."
Cuts to the border crossing. On the Mexican side. Queues of cars in the background lots of Police and soldiers.
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