Kurt
"Where the fuck are they?"
Lucy
"We've been here, ready for half an hour Christ I can't stand this waiting."
Loud bang on the shop door.
Male Voice
"Open up, Police."
More loud bangs as the police try to force the door open. The men inside shout in Spanish. Two of them check the tunnel. There are shouts in Spanish that there are more men coming up the tunnel. One of the men opens fire into the tunnel. The door of the shop breaks open police enter. One of the mexicans opens fire hitting two police officers they shoot back a gun battle ensues inside the shop. Kurt gets shot trying to run towards the police shouting he's on Globetrotters. Lucy attempts to get back to the tunnel as Mexican troops come out one of the Mexican drug dealers jumps down next to her and shoots at the troops who return fire killing them both.Police and troops swarm all over the premises.
Cuts to Johnny back in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I can't believe it! So close and yet so far! That's such a pity, made for great TV though. What a way to go out! That'll going to be on our Christmas special for sure. All Sami and Carl have
to do now is get the money back and get out!"
Then cuts back to Sami and Carl as they come out of the tunnel with the bags.The boy follows them everywhere. The same men are standing around waiting for them.
Carl
"Here it is this is everything that they gave us. We didn't count it but it looks like its all there."
1st Man
"I would expect it to be, Youve done what was required of you, there are people from your show out there."
Sami
"Have we won? Have we won? Please tell us we can't have lost to them two, please tell me?"
2nd Man
"We don't know, I personally hope you have won you deserve to, you did well. If you ever need a job why don't you come down to the border towns, I'm sure we could put both of you to good use and you could earn some good money, just something to think about."
Carl
"Thanks we'll bear that in mind."
They walk outside where a Globetrotter helicopter is waiting for them. The boy still follows them. A reporter and film crew are waiting for them.
Chris Henderson
"Welcome guys! Well done on completing the challenge."
Carl
"Have we won?"
Chris Henderson
"We're going to go back to the studio to announce that Carl. Lets get going."
Sami
"You must be joking right we have to wait to find out if we won! Oh come on, thats just ridiculous tell me you asshole, have you any idea what we've had to do? Have you any idea what I'm capable of doing?"
Chris Henderson
"I'm afraid I can't do that, don't know its a secret."
Carl
"Come on lets just get the fuck out of here. Say goodbye to the kid."
Sami puts her arm round the boy.
Sami
"He's coming with us. I'm going to keep him. He's going to be my little souvenir from Mexico."
Chris Henderson
"I don't think we can do that Sami, he'll have to stay here, I don't even know if there will be room in the helicopter."
Carl
"Are you sure about this?"
Sami
"I want him more than anything else we can adopt him I mean how celebrity is that? How cool will that make us look? We'll be rescuing our own little killer Just think about it."
Carl
"Well when you put it like that, come on son lets go."
Sami takes the boy by the hand and they walk to the helicopter. The boy smiles but still doesn't say anything. The Mexican gangsters standing around laugh as they get on board the helicopter.
Pilot
"We don't have the room for anyone else the kid can't get on."
Chris Henderson
"See he can't come, Its very touching Sami and it really shows your maternal side...."
Sami kicks Henderson in the gut and knocks him out of the helicopter.
Sam
"Plenty of room now, Go! Are you fucking deaf go!"
The pilot shrugs and takes off leaving Henderson standing on the ground shouting. Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"What an ending! What a series folks! We'll have them back here soon when we'll let them know that they've won. I bet the suspense is killing them. We're going to have a quick word with Natarsha Metsacker who is outside the shop where Kurt and lucy are, Natarsha, can you tell us whats happening there?"
Cuts to Natarsha Metsacker in the street outside the shop. The street is crowded with police and ambulances and people having a look at what has happened.
Natarsha Metsacker
"Hi Johnny I'm outside the shop where Kurt and Lucy's bodies are, and where their trot around the globe came to an end, I think we're all quite shocked at whats happened to them. What a way to end their adventure, I'm joined here by Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Told you we would get them. I'd sooner have had them in cuffs right now but sometimes if you play with fire you get burnt. And you know to make things worse what they brought over, or should I say under the border was worthless."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Worthless so even if they had survived they wouldn't have won the game."
Captain Duke Curzon-Howe IV
"Chances are if we hadn't of got them the buyers would have, told you this is a very dangerous game. We were tipped off by sources in Mexico."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Thank you Captain and keep up the good work. We're just going to ask a few of the bystanders what their thoughts are on this, excuse me sir did you know two contestants from Globetrotters are among the dead?"
Bystander
"What, oh really? Thats terrible news. Who was it in there?"
Natarsha Metsacker
They are both dead it was Kurt and Lucy.
Bystander
"OH what! Thats a shame I had $50 on them to win. Suppose my money is gone now. That means Sami and Carl have won. I knew I should have put some money on them. I just knew it."
Bodies are carried out on stretchers in the background.
Woman
"Well I'm glad they got what they deserve, they were just horrible. What that Lucy did to that lovely man Jack just awful. But it has been a great show this year."
Natarsha Metsacker
"Some mixed reactions down here Johnny only thing we can say for sure is that everybody has really enjoyed this series, back to you in the studio."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"This has been the best series ever I've never been so excited. What a finale ! What a last couple of weeks its been for our contestants! And now ladies and gentlemen I give you the winners of Globetrotters Sami and Carl!"
Sami and Carl and Pedro walk out onto the set. The crowd are all on their feet cheering and clapping. Ticker tape women in bikinis. They are given bouquets of flowers.
Carl
"Hey Johnny hello everyone! Whoooo! Yesssssss! That was an adventure and no mistake!"
Sami
"We did it! We did it! That was the best fun Johnny! And not only did we win we got to save this wonderful young man."
Johnny Paradis'
"I must say I think you are very deserving winners. You're what's best in our society, Sami and Carl, I'm proud to say I know you. You took on every challenge head on and didn't take a backward step all the way. When it got tough you showed your true colours. You showed us that fame and fortune always come at a price. And heres your price $20,000,000! How good is that?"
They are handed a large novelty cheque.
Carl
"I just want to say thank you Johnny, thank you to all the wonderful people who have helped us along the way, all the other contestants, you guys were great, you really pushed us. And a really big thank you to Globetrotters! You don't know how important this was to us."
Sami
"I just want to thank all our friends and family for their support all the way through."
Johnny Paradis'
"What a final this has been! We've had gun fights decapitations does it get any better than this? And on another note we've seen how Globetrotters brings people together, just look at those guys with young Pedro. It's so sweet it nearly brings a tear to my eye. What a show! what a series! We're back next week folks with our highlights show. Thats something not to be missed! And don't you worry we'll be back next year bigger and better with another amazing series of Globetrotters. Lets hear it for our winners Sami and Carl! Fame and fortune are all yours! And don't you deserve it? Whats the catchphrase people?"
The audience starts chanting now thats an adventure. Contestants wave cuts to closing credits for Globetrotters.
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
THE END
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Episode 21
Johnny Paradis'
"I bet thats a lot harder than it looks. Just look at the sweat on those two. Why join the gym when you can push drugs up a tunnel thats the Globetrotters weight loss programme."
Turns to a different camera. We're going to leave them to it for now and see what Kurt and Lucy are up to.Cuts back to the warehouse where they are all still standing around. Hector is speaking on a phone.
Lucy
"When can we get started? We've been here for over an hour, I don't know if you are aware we are in a race. There's a lot at stake here. We really don't have too much time to spare. Don't want to be a pain but some of us are in a fucking rush!"
Kurt
"Whats the delay?"
Hector
"You can start now,there was a small problem, but it has been resolved.
Kurt
"Come on lets get started. We've wasted enough time already."
They begin loading the vacuum sealed bags onto trolleys pushing them up a narrow long tunnel. Semi dark lights hang from the roof. Its hot and sweaty in the tunnel. At the other end they pass the bags up to men waiting in an empty and shuttered shop. They go back and forth continually taking the bags. Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"Both teams are hard at it now, Its Sami and Carl in the lead, they got going before Lucy and Kurt and they have the advantage in that they have less to transport across the border. The challenge stipulated $5,000,000 of contraband. We had no say over what they would be carrying over the border. Thems the breaks! I guess Kurt and Lucy are going to have to work twice as hard!"
Cuts back to Kurt and Lucy. They look hot and tired. Lucy looks around at the men standing around.
Lucy
"You could always help out you know it won't kill you."
Hector
"Why would we help ? You look like you are having so much fun."
Kurt
"Stop talking lets get back to it, we haven't got time to chat."
Lucy
"How about we pay two of your men half a million each from our winnings if they help us. With a little help we can do it. What'd you say?"
Antonio speaks to the men in Spanish offering them Lucy's deal. Two men respond quicker than the others and begin helping them get the packages over the border. Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"Smart move by Lucy, she knows how this game works, and she knows how to work people. Lets see if this evens things up. I do wonder though if they don't win what they are going to tell their brand new employees, somehow I think them saying sorry guys we've got no money isn't going to go down well."
Cuts to Sami and Carl. They have moved nearly all of the packages.
Johnny Paradis'
"And they're into into the home stretch. We just got word they are moving cocaine over the border and poor Kurt and Lucy got stuck with marijuana.I can imagine quite a few people will be fairly pleased that things aren't going all that well for them.They've got the last packages into the tunnel now and they are off over the border. For what could well be their last run.
Cuts back to Lucy and Kurt who with the help of the two men have moved nearly all the packages.
Johnny Paradis'
"They really are catching up now, this is getting to be too much, its so close. Somebody sedate me! I don't know about you but my heart is pounding!"
Cuts to Sami and Carl as they bring the last of the packages up the ladder into the garage. The boy is still with them. Filmed from their point of view.
Sami
"Thats it we're done, Send them a text. The sooner they get here the sooner we win!"
Carl
"All we got to do now is wait."
Sami
"He told us 20 minutes well the clock is ticking. Christ I hate waiting I just hope they hurry up. Shit I just thought do we have to count the money?"
Carl
"They said they trusted them I'm not counting the money. I'm just bringing it back and getting out of here as fast as I can!"
Cuts to Kurt and Lucy as they bring the last of the packages through the tunnel and up into the empty and shuttered shop. The two men who have helped them climb up the ladder into the shop.
1st Man
"Our money now."
Kurt
"When we win you get your money, now where are the buyers?"
The men standing around speak in Spanish.
Lucy
"What did they say? They're on their way aren't they? Don't they understand this's for tv? How many times do I have to say it? Just get me back to civilisation where people understand this shit!"
1st Man
"Soon they arrive, and we get our money."
Cuts back to Sami and Carl in the garage. There is a knock on the shutter door. One of the men opens it and a van drives in. Three men get out.
1st Man
"Where is the product?"
Sami
"Its over there."
The 1st man speaks to the other two in Spanish. One them goes over to the packages and opens one and takes small sample which he then tests. He nods his approval as to the quality. One of the men goes into the van and takes out two large bags which he opens to show them full of money. He hands them to Carl. They then start to load the packages into the van. The young boy goes through the bags checking it is all full of cash.
Carl
"Thats it we're done lets get back across the border, grab the cash lets go."
Sami
"I can't believe it this is the end we've done it I'm so proud of you Carl."
Carl
They pick up the bags and take them back down the tunnel. Cuts back to Kurt and Lucy in the shop.
"I bet thats a lot harder than it looks. Just look at the sweat on those two. Why join the gym when you can push drugs up a tunnel thats the Globetrotters weight loss programme."
Turns to a different camera. We're going to leave them to it for now and see what Kurt and Lucy are up to.Cuts back to the warehouse where they are all still standing around. Hector is speaking on a phone.
Lucy
"When can we get started? We've been here for over an hour, I don't know if you are aware we are in a race. There's a lot at stake here. We really don't have too much time to spare. Don't want to be a pain but some of us are in a fucking rush!"
Kurt
"Whats the delay?"
Hector
"You can start now,there was a small problem, but it has been resolved.
Kurt
"Come on lets get started. We've wasted enough time already."
They begin loading the vacuum sealed bags onto trolleys pushing them up a narrow long tunnel. Semi dark lights hang from the roof. Its hot and sweaty in the tunnel. At the other end they pass the bags up to men waiting in an empty and shuttered shop. They go back and forth continually taking the bags. Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"Both teams are hard at it now, Its Sami and Carl in the lead, they got going before Lucy and Kurt and they have the advantage in that they have less to transport across the border. The challenge stipulated $5,000,000 of contraband. We had no say over what they would be carrying over the border. Thems the breaks! I guess Kurt and Lucy are going to have to work twice as hard!"
Cuts back to Kurt and Lucy. They look hot and tired. Lucy looks around at the men standing around.
Lucy
"You could always help out you know it won't kill you."
Hector
"Why would we help ? You look like you are having so much fun."
Kurt
"Stop talking lets get back to it, we haven't got time to chat."
Lucy
"How about we pay two of your men half a million each from our winnings if they help us. With a little help we can do it. What'd you say?"
Antonio speaks to the men in Spanish offering them Lucy's deal. Two men respond quicker than the others and begin helping them get the packages over the border. Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"Smart move by Lucy, she knows how this game works, and she knows how to work people. Lets see if this evens things up. I do wonder though if they don't win what they are going to tell their brand new employees, somehow I think them saying sorry guys we've got no money isn't going to go down well."
Cuts to Sami and Carl. They have moved nearly all of the packages.
Johnny Paradis'
"And they're into into the home stretch. We just got word they are moving cocaine over the border and poor Kurt and Lucy got stuck with marijuana.I can imagine quite a few people will be fairly pleased that things aren't going all that well for them.They've got the last packages into the tunnel now and they are off over the border. For what could well be their last run.
Cuts back to Lucy and Kurt who with the help of the two men have moved nearly all the packages.
Johnny Paradis'
"They really are catching up now, this is getting to be too much, its so close. Somebody sedate me! I don't know about you but my heart is pounding!"
Cuts to Sami and Carl as they bring the last of the packages up the ladder into the garage. The boy is still with them. Filmed from their point of view.
Sami
"Thats it we're done, Send them a text. The sooner they get here the sooner we win!"
Carl
"All we got to do now is wait."
Sami
"He told us 20 minutes well the clock is ticking. Christ I hate waiting I just hope they hurry up. Shit I just thought do we have to count the money?"
Carl
"They said they trusted them I'm not counting the money. I'm just bringing it back and getting out of here as fast as I can!"
Cuts to Kurt and Lucy as they bring the last of the packages through the tunnel and up into the empty and shuttered shop. The two men who have helped them climb up the ladder into the shop.
1st Man
"Our money now."
Kurt
"When we win you get your money, now where are the buyers?"
The men standing around speak in Spanish.
Lucy
"What did they say? They're on their way aren't they? Don't they understand this's for tv? How many times do I have to say it? Just get me back to civilisation where people understand this shit!"
1st Man
"Soon they arrive, and we get our money."
Cuts back to Sami and Carl in the garage. There is a knock on the shutter door. One of the men opens it and a van drives in. Three men get out.
1st Man
"Where is the product?"
Sami
"Its over there."
The 1st man speaks to the other two in Spanish. One them goes over to the packages and opens one and takes small sample which he then tests. He nods his approval as to the quality. One of the men goes into the van and takes out two large bags which he opens to show them full of money. He hands them to Carl. They then start to load the packages into the van. The young boy goes through the bags checking it is all full of cash.
Carl
"Thats it we're done lets get back across the border, grab the cash lets go."
Sami
"I can't believe it this is the end we've done it I'm so proud of you Carl."
Carl
They pick up the bags and take them back down the tunnel. Cuts back to Kurt and Lucy in the shop.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Episode 14
Applause and cheers from the audience. Cuts to a room the four contestants are there. We see them from their own cameras and form the ipods. Their images appear on the giant video screen.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now onto the final challenge and our final two teams. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Carl and Sami and Kurt and Lucy good evening finalists!"
Applause and cheers from the audience.
Carl
"Johnny how are you? Good to see you again."
Sami
"Hey Johnny we made it!"
Kurt
"Whats the challenge? We just want to get started."
Lucy
"I'm pumped and ready to rock n' roll."
Johnny Paradis'
"You all sound up for this weeks challenge."
Kurt
"Ready willing and able Johnny, it all comes down to the next seven days and we are going to give it everything. Coming second is not an option for us. Why second is just first of the losers and thats something we sure ain't."
Carl
"It's not an option Kurt it's an inevitability, you are going to come second. Just want to let you know. You may as well give up now."
Lucy
"Yeah you talk it up, but you know it's ours, you guys just don't have what it takes you never did and you never will you're weak and the whole world is going to see that real soon."
Sami
"All that from a back stabbing two faced bitch....If I were you Kurt I'd be watching her all the time. You're going to need eyes in the back of your head."
Johnny Paradis'
"Well no love lost between our teams is there ha,ha,ha,ha but did we really expect to feel the love at this stage? I doubt it. And do we want it? No, is my answer to that question."
Carl
"I've had no love for them since day one. I mean who could like either of them?"
Lucy
"You and her are just oxygen thieves I hope you get what you deserve in this challenge, which is precisely fuck-all. No let me rephrase that a painful, slow death would be your just deserts."
Sami
"Well hopefully somebody will put us all out of our misery and put you down in this challenge and I mean down in the ground. You are just one unpleasant bitch."
Johnny
"Think we better get these guys separated before they tear each other apart ha,ha,ha,ha
lets get onto the challenge, our contestants tonight find themselves in Mexico near the border with the good old US of A. Their task is to convince, bribe or do whatever they need to do to ensure they get to work with two of the most notorious cartels here in the border regions. Whom we have put them in contact with through our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven. Now these guys have not agreed to let our contestants help them, at this point all they'll do is meet them, if and when they persuade them to help they could be smuggling marijuana, methamphetamine, heroin, to a minimum of $5,000,000. They won't find out until they are trying to get across the border, then they must take payment for the shipment and get the cash back to the cartel. But as a bonus guys, anything you can make above the $5,000,000 asking price is yours to keep, though I imagine trying to barter with the buyers could pose a few problems.""
Carl
"Thats great! Can't wait to start this challenge was made for us."
Lucy
"We are so going to win this challenge with our nerves and negotiating skills I think we'll win the competition plus a nice little bonus on top."
Kurt
"I'll let my actions do the talking Johnny. You can ask me how we did it after we pick up the prize. You may as well make out the cheque right now."
Sami
"You two are all wind and piss talk, talk, talk we're going to walk all over you. Thats if they even get to attempt the challenge I mean who is going to trust them two?"
Johnny Paradis'
"This is going to be a no holds barred final I can tell ! And thats just what we've come to expect from these two teams."
Kurt
"Nothing we won't do to win Johnny, nothing."
Johnny Paradis'
"You've already proved that to us Kurt no doubt about that. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in action this week."
Sami
"I think he's just desperate, trying to talk himself up, I'm so ruthless, I'm so tough, I'm such a mean motherfucker . Your silly little mind games aren't going to work on us."
Lucy
"Thats because you don't have a mind for it to work on you two have to be the most stupid people I've ever met. You think you can beat us? Please. You must be on some seriously powerful drugs."
Carl
"Whats it like being you Lucy? It's all talk, Sami is right. We'll see you when you give us the cheque Johnny."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Cheers and applause from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats two very focused teams we have here both of them very determined to win. This is going to be something to remember folks. Don't look away for a second. Who knows what you'll miss? But it's sure to be good and just imagine that awkward conversation round the water cooler having to explain how you missed the show and don't know what anyone is talking about. Well contestants its bye for now people, you'll be introduced to the people you need to meet very soon and we'll be catching up with you then. All I can say now is to wish you, like our global audience of one point five billion does is good luck! Whats our catchphrase folks?"
Cuts back to the contestants.
Carl Sami and Kurt and Lucy
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"It sure is for those guys and the best is yet to come. And we'll be right back after this message from our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is like an infomercial presenter. Ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"When someone says cruise do you want to snooze? If someone says lovely coach tours do you think they're bores? If you answered yes we have some great African adventures for you, three weeks with North African pirates or how about a month with a warlord in sub-Saharan Africa? Rape pillage and plunder to your hearts content, Does that sound like you? We can help you organise the holiday of a lifetime. Here are some of our happy clients who made it home just listen to what they have to say."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room large TV showing his holiday videos. Attacking a village in Africa.
Client one
"We had the best three weeks of my life, we lived with a warlord went on two raids into the villages and towns and took part in a massacre! Several interrogations, and boy don't they know how to make someone talk it was just the best fun. We're already thinking about our next holiday in hell."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge large TV showing her holiday video boarding a supertanker with pirates.
Client two
"We took the whole family and got to board and take control of a super tanker held the crew hostage and even helped with the negotiations. I can tell you we'll never forget this holiday. It was excitement from start to finish. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Presenter
"No matter what you want to do, no matter what laws or taboos you want to break here at Extreme Tourism we can help you plan that perfect holiday, just call one of our friendly consultants or check our online package deals we've got something for everyone, no matter what your tastes are because remember Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"How could you not have fun on holidays like those, seriously, I've had three holidays with Extreme Tourism and I've loved every minute of them. You know you deserve a holiday and those
guys will make sure you have one, one you will never forget. We now know what are contestants challenge is and before we get to see how they go with their negotiations let's get some background information on the cartels that control the border area and what their methods are. And who better to give us all that than our very own Natarsha Metsacker."
Cuts to the border crossing. On the Mexican side. Queues of cars in the background lots of Police and soldiers.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now onto the final challenge and our final two teams. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Carl and Sami and Kurt and Lucy good evening finalists!"
Applause and cheers from the audience.
Carl
"Johnny how are you? Good to see you again."
Sami
"Hey Johnny we made it!"
Kurt
"Whats the challenge? We just want to get started."
Lucy
"I'm pumped and ready to rock n' roll."
Johnny Paradis'
"You all sound up for this weeks challenge."
Kurt
"Ready willing and able Johnny, it all comes down to the next seven days and we are going to give it everything. Coming second is not an option for us. Why second is just first of the losers and thats something we sure ain't."
Carl
"It's not an option Kurt it's an inevitability, you are going to come second. Just want to let you know. You may as well give up now."
Lucy
"Yeah you talk it up, but you know it's ours, you guys just don't have what it takes you never did and you never will you're weak and the whole world is going to see that real soon."
Sami
"All that from a back stabbing two faced bitch....If I were you Kurt I'd be watching her all the time. You're going to need eyes in the back of your head."
Johnny Paradis'
"Well no love lost between our teams is there ha,ha,ha,ha but did we really expect to feel the love at this stage? I doubt it. And do we want it? No, is my answer to that question."
Carl
"I've had no love for them since day one. I mean who could like either of them?"
Lucy
"You and her are just oxygen thieves I hope you get what you deserve in this challenge, which is precisely fuck-all. No let me rephrase that a painful, slow death would be your just deserts."
Sami
"Well hopefully somebody will put us all out of our misery and put you down in this challenge and I mean down in the ground. You are just one unpleasant bitch."
Johnny
"Think we better get these guys separated before they tear each other apart ha,ha,ha,ha
lets get onto the challenge, our contestants tonight find themselves in Mexico near the border with the good old US of A. Their task is to convince, bribe or do whatever they need to do to ensure they get to work with two of the most notorious cartels here in the border regions. Whom we have put them in contact with through our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven. Now these guys have not agreed to let our contestants help them, at this point all they'll do is meet them, if and when they persuade them to help they could be smuggling marijuana, methamphetamine, heroin, to a minimum of $5,000,000. They won't find out until they are trying to get across the border, then they must take payment for the shipment and get the cash back to the cartel. But as a bonus guys, anything you can make above the $5,000,000 asking price is yours to keep, though I imagine trying to barter with the buyers could pose a few problems.""
Carl
"Thats great! Can't wait to start this challenge was made for us."
Lucy
"We are so going to win this challenge with our nerves and negotiating skills I think we'll win the competition plus a nice little bonus on top."
Kurt
"I'll let my actions do the talking Johnny. You can ask me how we did it after we pick up the prize. You may as well make out the cheque right now."
Sami
"You two are all wind and piss talk, talk, talk we're going to walk all over you. Thats if they even get to attempt the challenge I mean who is going to trust them two?"
Johnny Paradis'
"This is going to be a no holds barred final I can tell ! And thats just what we've come to expect from these two teams."
Kurt
"Nothing we won't do to win Johnny, nothing."
Johnny Paradis'
"You've already proved that to us Kurt no doubt about that. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in action this week."
Sami
"I think he's just desperate, trying to talk himself up, I'm so ruthless, I'm so tough, I'm such a mean motherfucker . Your silly little mind games aren't going to work on us."
Lucy
"Thats because you don't have a mind for it to work on you two have to be the most stupid people I've ever met. You think you can beat us? Please. You must be on some seriously powerful drugs."
Carl
"Whats it like being you Lucy? It's all talk, Sami is right. We'll see you when you give us the cheque Johnny."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Cheers and applause from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats two very focused teams we have here both of them very determined to win. This is going to be something to remember folks. Don't look away for a second. Who knows what you'll miss? But it's sure to be good and just imagine that awkward conversation round the water cooler having to explain how you missed the show and don't know what anyone is talking about. Well contestants its bye for now people, you'll be introduced to the people you need to meet very soon and we'll be catching up with you then. All I can say now is to wish you, like our global audience of one point five billion does is good luck! Whats our catchphrase folks?"
Cuts back to the contestants.
Carl Sami and Kurt and Lucy
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"It sure is for those guys and the best is yet to come. And we'll be right back after this message from our good friends at Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is like an infomercial presenter. Ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"When someone says cruise do you want to snooze? If someone says lovely coach tours do you think they're bores? If you answered yes we have some great African adventures for you, three weeks with North African pirates or how about a month with a warlord in sub-Saharan Africa? Rape pillage and plunder to your hearts content, Does that sound like you? We can help you organise the holiday of a lifetime. Here are some of our happy clients who made it home just listen to what they have to say."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room large TV showing his holiday videos. Attacking a village in Africa.
Client one
"We had the best three weeks of my life, we lived with a warlord went on two raids into the villages and towns and took part in a massacre! Several interrogations, and boy don't they know how to make someone talk it was just the best fun. We're already thinking about our next holiday in hell."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge large TV showing her holiday video boarding a supertanker with pirates.
Client two
"We took the whole family and got to board and take control of a super tanker held the crew hostage and even helped with the negotiations. I can tell you we'll never forget this holiday. It was excitement from start to finish. I can't recommend them highly enough."
Presenter
"No matter what you want to do, no matter what laws or taboos you want to break here at Extreme Tourism we can help you plan that perfect holiday, just call one of our friendly consultants or check our online package deals we've got something for everyone, no matter what your tastes are because remember Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to Johnny in studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"How could you not have fun on holidays like those, seriously, I've had three holidays with Extreme Tourism and I've loved every minute of them. You know you deserve a holiday and those
guys will make sure you have one, one you will never forget. We now know what are contestants challenge is and before we get to see how they go with their negotiations let's get some background information on the cartels that control the border area and what their methods are. And who better to give us all that than our very own Natarsha Metsacker."
Cuts to the border crossing. On the Mexican side. Queues of cars in the background lots of Police and soldiers.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Episode 8
Carl
"Well, I'm glad we've got our boat sorted out $20,000 for both of us from here to Australia and we are leaving tomorrow thats gives us six days to get there, when this is all over we should go into the people smuggling business plenty of money in it?"
Sami
"When this is all over and we've got the cash I'm never going near another stinking third world country in my life, I've had enough of the stench of these places the foods, the customs of these people, no for me it's a life of luxury you can do what ever the fuck you want but I'm never coming back to anywhere like this ever again."
Carl
"Yeah I suppose Carl and Sami the winners of Globetrotters has a nice kind of ring to it doesn't it?"
Sami
"Sure does, I'm going to go on every talk show in the world tell them all about me and this and what a fucking great team we are!"
Carl
"What can we do to fuck up the others? I'd love to see that prick Derrick and Katherine sink to the bottom of the ocean, I tried getting some information from the smuggler about who they might use and if we could do anything to screw them over, but I don't think he understood me too well."
Sami
"And thats another thing what is it with these languages why can't they all speak English. What is it with all this gibberish? Shit don't they know they'll never be reality stars if they don't speak English."
Carl
"Thats the truth and no mistake they are that fucked up maybe they don't want it you know shit they might not even want to be us and thats just fucking weird, maybe they like living like this, they must do else they would do something about it like move to the civilised world."
Sami
"Well, I can't work them thats out for sure, Hey, maybe I should come on to Derrick lure him someplace and you take him out."
Carl
"Sounds like a good idea but we haven't got the time to do that, we are getting picked up in 4 hours and then they are taking us to the boat, We should try and get some rest it's going to be a hectic few days in that boat."
Sami
"Yeah I suppose you are right just wish there was something we could do to fuck up the other teams."
Carl
"They'll fuck things up on their own you just wait and see I have a good feeling about this challenge, I really do."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I wonder what is going through their minds right now and does Sami have a secret crush on Derrick, how are those two going to get that a little edge on all the others, they have a
departure time now will they be the first ones to launch their boat of human cargo and cross the sea to the promised land? Guess we'll just have to wait and see, and now we are going to see what Katherine and Derrick are doing."
Cuts back to another dark room Katherine and Derrick talking.
Derrick
"I know it was a lot of money but do you know how to drive a boat? No! So thats why we had to use him to get us there you'll see it will be money well spent."
Katherine
"Do you drive a boat? All I'm saying is $30,000 for both of us seems a lot thats all, I mean these people live on a few dollars a day, how can they charge us that much for a few days on a boat?"
VoiceoverJohnny Paradis'
"30 grand they must be on a luxury people smuggler for that kind of money folks! Its first class all the way with Derrick and K ha,ha,ha,ha. Thats $7,000 more than anyone else paid, maybe they are going to become pirates make a few people walk the plank."
Derrick
"I know its a lot but you don't know west from your asshole and I've never sailed or driven a boat in my life, so if you had a better idea you should have said something."
Katherine
"I was just saying it's a lot of money thats all. Nothing more. So he'll be back here tomorrow night to pick us up and take us to the boat?"
Derrick
"Well, if he wants his money he will be we're are leaving on an evening tide round sunset he said."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now a word from our friends at Extreme Tourism."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is a typical infomercial presenter. The ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"Are you bored with the same old holiday destinations? Had enough of tour groups and theme parks? Scenic tours and wine tasting ? Want to feel alive again? Live on the edge? If you have answered yes to any of those questions we can help you plan the holiday of a lifetime. Here at Extreme Tourism we listen to you and to what you want, three weeks on the front line of a guerilla war, no problem. Want to run chemical weapons across borders then we are the people for you. But hey, don't just take my word for it here're some of our happy Extreme Tourists who made it home."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room TV on showing his holiday video. Jungle warfare.
Client one
"Why I never thought I'd be on the front line of a guerilla war but I just came back from three weeks of fighting mayhem and murder and I just loved every minute of it, we're already planning our next holiday with Extreme Tourism. It's a cheap holiday in others peoples misery and we just loved it."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge room TV on showing her holiday video.
Client two
"I've never felt so alive crossing the border with all them weapons outsmarting the police and border guards, I've told all my friends and family about it! Next time we're even bringing the kids!"
Cuts back to the presenter walking through a call centre.
Presenter
So there you have it folks, contact one of our friendly consultants and start planning your next holiday with us. Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to the studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
"Johnny Paradis'
I can't speak highly enough of the good people at Extreme Tourism without them and their contacts we wouldn't have a show folks and really, that's just not worth contemplating is it? It's a new day and this weeks challenge is about to get underway."
"Well, I'm glad we've got our boat sorted out $20,000 for both of us from here to Australia and we are leaving tomorrow thats gives us six days to get there, when this is all over we should go into the people smuggling business plenty of money in it?"
Sami
"When this is all over and we've got the cash I'm never going near another stinking third world country in my life, I've had enough of the stench of these places the foods, the customs of these people, no for me it's a life of luxury you can do what ever the fuck you want but I'm never coming back to anywhere like this ever again."
Carl
"Yeah I suppose Carl and Sami the winners of Globetrotters has a nice kind of ring to it doesn't it?"
Sami
"Sure does, I'm going to go on every talk show in the world tell them all about me and this and what a fucking great team we are!"
Carl
"What can we do to fuck up the others? I'd love to see that prick Derrick and Katherine sink to the bottom of the ocean, I tried getting some information from the smuggler about who they might use and if we could do anything to screw them over, but I don't think he understood me too well."
Sami
"And thats another thing what is it with these languages why can't they all speak English. What is it with all this gibberish? Shit don't they know they'll never be reality stars if they don't speak English."
Carl
"Thats the truth and no mistake they are that fucked up maybe they don't want it you know shit they might not even want to be us and thats just fucking weird, maybe they like living like this, they must do else they would do something about it like move to the civilised world."
Sami
"Well, I can't work them thats out for sure, Hey, maybe I should come on to Derrick lure him someplace and you take him out."
Carl
"Sounds like a good idea but we haven't got the time to do that, we are getting picked up in 4 hours and then they are taking us to the boat, We should try and get some rest it's going to be a hectic few days in that boat."
Sami
"Yeah I suppose you are right just wish there was something we could do to fuck up the other teams."
Carl
"They'll fuck things up on their own you just wait and see I have a good feeling about this challenge, I really do."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"I wonder what is going through their minds right now and does Sami have a secret crush on Derrick, how are those two going to get that a little edge on all the others, they have a
departure time now will they be the first ones to launch their boat of human cargo and cross the sea to the promised land? Guess we'll just have to wait and see, and now we are going to see what Katherine and Derrick are doing."
Cuts back to another dark room Katherine and Derrick talking.
Derrick
"I know it was a lot of money but do you know how to drive a boat? No! So thats why we had to use him to get us there you'll see it will be money well spent."
Katherine
"Do you drive a boat? All I'm saying is $30,000 for both of us seems a lot thats all, I mean these people live on a few dollars a day, how can they charge us that much for a few days on a boat?"
VoiceoverJohnny Paradis'
"30 grand they must be on a luxury people smuggler for that kind of money folks! Its first class all the way with Derrick and K ha,ha,ha,ha. Thats $7,000 more than anyone else paid, maybe they are going to become pirates make a few people walk the plank."
Derrick
"I know its a lot but you don't know west from your asshole and I've never sailed or driven a boat in my life, so if you had a better idea you should have said something."
Katherine
"I was just saying it's a lot of money thats all. Nothing more. So he'll be back here tomorrow night to pick us up and take us to the boat?"
Derrick
"Well, if he wants his money he will be we're are leaving on an evening tide round sunset he said."
Cuts back to the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
"And now a word from our friends at Extreme Tourism."
Cuts to an ad. The ad presenter is a typical infomercial presenter. The ad begins with standard holiday pictures resorts sandy beaches, theme parks etc then changes to war zones, the sight of a car bomb attack dead bodies and blood everywhere other scenes of devastation all of them with a happy couple in the foreground posing for a picture.
Presenter
"Are you bored with the same old holiday destinations? Had enough of tour groups and theme parks? Scenic tours and wine tasting ? Want to feel alive again? Live on the edge? If you have answered yes to any of those questions we can help you plan the holiday of a lifetime. Here at Extreme Tourism we listen to you and to what you want, three weeks on the front line of a guerilla war, no problem. Want to run chemical weapons across borders then we are the people for you. But hey, don't just take my word for it here're some of our happy Extreme Tourists who made it home."
Cuts to a man in his lounge room TV on showing his holiday video. Jungle warfare.
Client one
"Why I never thought I'd be on the front line of a guerilla war but I just came back from three weeks of fighting mayhem and murder and I just loved every minute of it, we're already planning our next holiday with Extreme Tourism. It's a cheap holiday in others peoples misery and we just loved it."
Cuts to a woman in her lounge room TV on showing her holiday video.
Client two
"I've never felt so alive crossing the border with all them weapons outsmarting the police and border guards, I've told all my friends and family about it! Next time we're even bringing the kids!"
Cuts back to the presenter walking through a call centre.
Presenter
So there you have it folks, contact one of our friendly consultants and start planning your next holiday with us. Extreme Tourism....Holidays in Hell are our kind of Heaven."
Cuts back to the studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
"Johnny Paradis'
I can't speak highly enough of the good people at Extreme Tourism without them and their contacts we wouldn't have a show folks and really, that's just not worth contemplating is it? It's a new day and this weeks challenge is about to get underway."
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Episode 7
Jack
"No, we can't pay that you're just going to have to take less from us hey you are making money on us taking the boat over."
Man
"But it is our reputation we always land our passengers."
Lucy
"Reputation oh please I've heard it all now you smuggle people for money, I've probably got more morals than you and trust me thats saying something."
Man
"If that is how you feel about it I can say no more and I wish you well in your endeavours."
Jack
"No wait....You just keep quiet I'll handle this....We can work this out please sit down....Please."
Lucy
"Well, you just work it all out Jack you be the man for once! It would make such a pleasant surprise."
Lucy gets up and leaves
Jack
"Yeah and fuck you too....Bitch."
Jack goes back into conversation with the man. voiceover
Johnny Paradis'
"Looks like there is a bit of tension between Jack and Lucy wonder how that will pan out?"
Lucy walks down a dark street in a small Indonesian town sees Kurt smoking leaning against a wall. She walks up to him and begins a conversation.
Lucy
"Hey Kurt, not allowed to smoke inside?"
Kurt
"Hey, yeah Brian gets a bit worked up about smoking says he "can't breathe properly" if someones smokes indoors."
Lucy
"Yeah, well that asshole Jack gets worked up about everything,you said you grew up around boats me too, charter boats, ocean racing it's in my blood whereas Jack, he wouldn't know an oar from his asshole."
Kurt
"Brian is the same, shit he even gets sea sick thinking about being in a boat for a few days, this is going to be real fun I can just tell, to be honest I don't know how we are going to go in this challenge."
Lucy
"We could make that crossing so easily me and you shame we are on different teams....But."
Kurt
"What are you suggesting? I did three tours of duty with Brian...."
Lucy
"Oh cut the shit Kurt. We're all in it for the money, the fame nothing more nothing less don't give me we are old buddies blah blah blah....I'm married to that asshole back there for fucks sake. Look Jack is going to hold me back in this challenge just like Brian is with you, you know thats the truth we're both fucked if we stick with them. Jack is organising a boat Brian can take his chances with him, me, I want to make it to the final I want to win and I tell you now we stick with them and we are fucked, big time and you know it."
Kurt
"I know. But we've been friends for years been through a lot, I need time to think this through."
Lucy
"Time is the one thing you or me haven't got, this challenge is right here right now its make or break time, time to decide Kurt you want to win or you want to fade back into obscurity with nothing to show for it, step up or step the fuck off Kurt. Your choice."
Kurt
"I know I know....But fuck. You're right he will cost me the game, don't make it any easier though. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck! Look, we got our boat sorted out paid $14,000 for the right to sail it across the sea. They are picking us up tomorrow afternoon. We leave on the evening tide."
Lucy
"For both of you why Jack is going to pay at least twenty grand see what I mean about him? Let me get my shit, I'll meet you back here in ten, just leave him a note telling him to contact Jack, its game on now. You with me? I mean are you really with me?"
Kurt
"Ok it's a deal we team up and fuck Jack and Brian off let them see how far they can go without us. You are one evil bitch Lucy! I love it! Just fucking love it!"
They walk off in different directions. Each of them heading back to their rooms. Cuts back to the studio. Oh's and ah's etc from audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Well,well folks we really are moving into the end games here, teams are changing and people are trying to get whatever edge they can I just can't wait to see what Jack and Brian have to say about this, I'm sure they won't be all that happy. What a couple they are going to make. I can't wait to see those two in action together."
Cuts back to another dark room Carl and Sami talking.
"No, we can't pay that you're just going to have to take less from us hey you are making money on us taking the boat over."
Man
"But it is our reputation we always land our passengers."
Lucy
"Reputation oh please I've heard it all now you smuggle people for money, I've probably got more morals than you and trust me thats saying something."
Man
"If that is how you feel about it I can say no more and I wish you well in your endeavours."
Jack
"No wait....You just keep quiet I'll handle this....We can work this out please sit down....Please."
Lucy
"Well, you just work it all out Jack you be the man for once! It would make such a pleasant surprise."
Lucy gets up and leaves
Jack
"Yeah and fuck you too....Bitch."
Jack goes back into conversation with the man. voiceover
Johnny Paradis'
"Looks like there is a bit of tension between Jack and Lucy wonder how that will pan out?"
Lucy walks down a dark street in a small Indonesian town sees Kurt smoking leaning against a wall. She walks up to him and begins a conversation.
Lucy
"Hey Kurt, not allowed to smoke inside?"
Kurt
"Hey, yeah Brian gets a bit worked up about smoking says he "can't breathe properly" if someones smokes indoors."
Lucy
"Yeah, well that asshole Jack gets worked up about everything,you said you grew up around boats me too, charter boats, ocean racing it's in my blood whereas Jack, he wouldn't know an oar from his asshole."
Kurt
"Brian is the same, shit he even gets sea sick thinking about being in a boat for a few days, this is going to be real fun I can just tell, to be honest I don't know how we are going to go in this challenge."
Lucy
"We could make that crossing so easily me and you shame we are on different teams....But."
Kurt
"What are you suggesting? I did three tours of duty with Brian...."
Lucy
"Oh cut the shit Kurt. We're all in it for the money, the fame nothing more nothing less don't give me we are old buddies blah blah blah....I'm married to that asshole back there for fucks sake. Look Jack is going to hold me back in this challenge just like Brian is with you, you know thats the truth we're both fucked if we stick with them. Jack is organising a boat Brian can take his chances with him, me, I want to make it to the final I want to win and I tell you now we stick with them and we are fucked, big time and you know it."
Kurt
"I know. But we've been friends for years been through a lot, I need time to think this through."
Lucy
"Time is the one thing you or me haven't got, this challenge is right here right now its make or break time, time to decide Kurt you want to win or you want to fade back into obscurity with nothing to show for it, step up or step the fuck off Kurt. Your choice."
Kurt
"I know I know....But fuck. You're right he will cost me the game, don't make it any easier though. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck! Look, we got our boat sorted out paid $14,000 for the right to sail it across the sea. They are picking us up tomorrow afternoon. We leave on the evening tide."
Lucy
"For both of you why Jack is going to pay at least twenty grand see what I mean about him? Let me get my shit, I'll meet you back here in ten, just leave him a note telling him to contact Jack, its game on now. You with me? I mean are you really with me?"
Kurt
"Ok it's a deal we team up and fuck Jack and Brian off let them see how far they can go without us. You are one evil bitch Lucy! I love it! Just fucking love it!"
They walk off in different directions. Each of them heading back to their rooms. Cuts back to the studio. Oh's and ah's etc from audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Well,well folks we really are moving into the end games here, teams are changing and people are trying to get whatever edge they can I just can't wait to see what Jack and Brian have to say about this, I'm sure they won't be all that happy. What a couple they are going to make. I can't wait to see those two in action together."
Cuts back to another dark room Carl and Sami talking.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Episode 5
Johnny Paradis'
"Good Evening Globetrotters!"
Assembled people
"Good evening Johnny!"
Johnny Paradis'
"And how are we all tonight excited to find out what the next challenge is?"
Assembled people
"Oh yeah Johnny....We're pumped....Yeah's....Ready to go Johnny ready to go."
Johnny Paradis'
"Tonight have we got a challenge for you, you will have your normal seven days to complete the challenge and we'll be with you every step of the way."
Lucy
"What is it Johnny? Come on tell us put us out of our misery."
Johnny Paradis'
"I will Lucy I will I promise, I'm a man of my word, I just won't tell you what that word is ha,ha,ha,ha but seriously how are you guys feeling? Derrick you still think you have what it takes?"
Derrick
"I'm excited Johnny I just want to get stuck into this next challenge, we're determined to win, determined to kick ass I'm going to fuck up the competition show them what I'm made of."
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats the spirit Derrick you show us all who's the man! On a serious note folks. What impact has the loss of David and Marcia had on you? Sami, has it changed anything?"
Sami
"I mean its sad what happened to them but this is a race, a competition we're all here to win, I mean I really believe they were weak and weren't committed to winning. That's why they were eliminated."
Johnny Paradis'
"And you are Sami? Are you committed to winning?"
Sami
"Fuck yeah, one hundred and ten percent. I want to win all the money Johnny, all the money, and I want all the fame, I want to be a TV star, a youtube star I want it all. I want people to point me out and say fuck yeah there's that bitch Sami she'll kick your ass, don't fuck with her."
Johnny Paradis'
"You are one tough cookie Sami no doubt about that. Kurt and Brian you guys are getting the repudiation as the quiet ones to watch?"
Kurt
"That suits us just fine Johnny everyone keeps underestimating us but we're still here and we gonna be here at the end too, you mark my word folks. Kurt and Brian we aren't going nowhere but straight to the winners circle yes sir that's where we're headed."
Johnny Paradis'
"Not so quietly confident I like that plus I drew you guys in the office sweep, and at least this year it hasn't been the kiss of death to the contestants ha,ha,ha,ha, Well not so far anyway. And Jack what are you thinking?"
Jack
"I'm just excited about the next challenge Johnny can't wait to hear what it is. All I'm thinking is how can I win!"
Johnny Paradis'
Well, tonight folks you'll be going from Indonesia to Australia with a cargo of human misery! Thats right you guys will be hooked up with the smugglers and you will pilot the boat of people running from, well who knows what and where and hey should I pretend I care mmmm I don't think so ha,ha,ha,ha, all the way to Australia, make it to land and we'll be there to meet and greet you, and you'll be through to the next round. If you are caught or finish last you will be eliminated."
The gathered people jump up and down shouting and cheering.
Johnny Paradis'
"Well Globetrotters what do you think of that?"
Kurt
"Thats great Johnny I'm so excited I can't wait, I grew up on boats they're in my blood."
Johnny Paradis'
"So you feel you have an advantage there Kurt?"
Kurt
"Oh yeah Johnny we're as good as through! We'll show the others how it's done."
Brian
"Damn right we will Kurt!"
Jack
"Well we'll just see who makes it through Johnny but you can count on us being there."
Lucy
"We are going to win it Johnny no doubt about that, and theres nothing I, we won't do to win it Johnny."
Katherine
"I've never lost anything I've wanted to win in my life and I'm not going to start now."
Johnny Paradis'
"Positive thoughts there from all our teams and you can feel the tension in the air folks isn't that just the best? The atmosphere in there why it could almost cut your throat, you want to stay out of their way ha,ha,ha,ha, looks like they,re all going for gold."
Carl
"They can talk all the shit they want I know where the money is going and I know who the last couple standing is going to be."
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
I hear you Carl, you now have seven days to complete this challenge if you all make it
ha,ha,ha,ha what am I saying if you all make it, the last one over the line will be eliminated. Which is probably better than being exterminated just ask David and Marcia ha,ha,ha,ha, oh thats right you can't. Looks like we are in for a hard fought challenge everybody wants to win everybody is pumped up, what more do you want or need? Whats are catch phrase folks?"
Cuts back to the room where the contestants are. They all shout together.
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Johnny Paradis'
"SAY IT AGAIN PEOPLE LET ME HEAR YOU!"
Contestants
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Don't forget same Globetrotter channel same Globetrotter time. And remember we always love to hear your thoughts.
"Good Evening Globetrotters!"
Assembled people
"Good evening Johnny!"
Johnny Paradis'
"And how are we all tonight excited to find out what the next challenge is?"
Assembled people
"Oh yeah Johnny....We're pumped....Yeah's....Ready to go Johnny ready to go."
Johnny Paradis'
"Tonight have we got a challenge for you, you will have your normal seven days to complete the challenge and we'll be with you every step of the way."
Lucy
"What is it Johnny? Come on tell us put us out of our misery."
Johnny Paradis'
"I will Lucy I will I promise, I'm a man of my word, I just won't tell you what that word is ha,ha,ha,ha but seriously how are you guys feeling? Derrick you still think you have what it takes?"
Derrick
"I'm excited Johnny I just want to get stuck into this next challenge, we're determined to win, determined to kick ass I'm going to fuck up the competition show them what I'm made of."
Johnny Paradis'
"Thats the spirit Derrick you show us all who's the man! On a serious note folks. What impact has the loss of David and Marcia had on you? Sami, has it changed anything?"
Sami
"I mean its sad what happened to them but this is a race, a competition we're all here to win, I mean I really believe they were weak and weren't committed to winning. That's why they were eliminated."
Johnny Paradis'
"And you are Sami? Are you committed to winning?"
Sami
"Fuck yeah, one hundred and ten percent. I want to win all the money Johnny, all the money, and I want all the fame, I want to be a TV star, a youtube star I want it all. I want people to point me out and say fuck yeah there's that bitch Sami she'll kick your ass, don't fuck with her."
Johnny Paradis'
"You are one tough cookie Sami no doubt about that. Kurt and Brian you guys are getting the repudiation as the quiet ones to watch?"
Kurt
"That suits us just fine Johnny everyone keeps underestimating us but we're still here and we gonna be here at the end too, you mark my word folks. Kurt and Brian we aren't going nowhere but straight to the winners circle yes sir that's where we're headed."
Johnny Paradis'
"Not so quietly confident I like that plus I drew you guys in the office sweep, and at least this year it hasn't been the kiss of death to the contestants ha,ha,ha,ha, Well not so far anyway. And Jack what are you thinking?"
Jack
"I'm just excited about the next challenge Johnny can't wait to hear what it is. All I'm thinking is how can I win!"
Johnny Paradis'
Well, tonight folks you'll be going from Indonesia to Australia with a cargo of human misery! Thats right you guys will be hooked up with the smugglers and you will pilot the boat of people running from, well who knows what and where and hey should I pretend I care mmmm I don't think so ha,ha,ha,ha, all the way to Australia, make it to land and we'll be there to meet and greet you, and you'll be through to the next round. If you are caught or finish last you will be eliminated."
The gathered people jump up and down shouting and cheering.
Johnny Paradis'
"Well Globetrotters what do you think of that?"
Kurt
"Thats great Johnny I'm so excited I can't wait, I grew up on boats they're in my blood."
Johnny Paradis'
"So you feel you have an advantage there Kurt?"
Kurt
"Oh yeah Johnny we're as good as through! We'll show the others how it's done."
Brian
"Damn right we will Kurt!"
Jack
"Well we'll just see who makes it through Johnny but you can count on us being there."
Lucy
"We are going to win it Johnny no doubt about that, and theres nothing I, we won't do to win it Johnny."
Katherine
"I've never lost anything I've wanted to win in my life and I'm not going to start now."
Johnny Paradis'
"Positive thoughts there from all our teams and you can feel the tension in the air folks isn't that just the best? The atmosphere in there why it could almost cut your throat, you want to stay out of their way ha,ha,ha,ha, looks like they,re all going for gold."
Carl
"They can talk all the shit they want I know where the money is going and I know who the last couple standing is going to be."
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio.
Johnny Paradis'
I hear you Carl, you now have seven days to complete this challenge if you all make it
ha,ha,ha,ha what am I saying if you all make it, the last one over the line will be eliminated. Which is probably better than being exterminated just ask David and Marcia ha,ha,ha,ha, oh thats right you can't. Looks like we are in for a hard fought challenge everybody wants to win everybody is pumped up, what more do you want or need? Whats are catch phrase folks?"
Cuts back to the room where the contestants are. They all shout together.
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Johnny Paradis'
"SAY IT AGAIN PEOPLE LET ME HEAR YOU!"
Contestants
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE! NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Cuts back to Johnny in the studio. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Don't forget same Globetrotter channel same Globetrotter time. And remember we always love to hear your thoughts.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Episode 3
Youssef
"It has all been worked out for you now my friend David."
Marcia
"What's been worked out? We paid them to get us over the border with the well you know....What does he mean? Who are those men?"
David
"Shut up will you....Let me think....What's going on Youssef?"
Youssef
"You will go with these men that is all."
David
"What the fuck ! You said you would get us over the border and to where our rendezvous point is,you swore you would take us to...."
Youssef
"And you are now in that province I have kept my word."
David
"Surely we can work something out ? If its more money you need we can get you more look here take this."
The group of men walk towards them guns pointed at them.
Youssef
"Do as they say and all will be well In shah Allah."
The men grab both David and Marcia.
David
"Get your fucking hands off me, let go of me! What are you doing? I'll get you for this you bastard I'll fucking get you!"
Marcia
"You animals, bastards let me fucking go. Let me go......let me go."
They are dragged off kicking and screaming until they are knocked out and bound by the group of men. Cuts to a youtube video. Both are tied and kneeling a group of men stand behind them holding guns and largeknives in front of a flag. A political/revolutionary speech is made in a foreign language with subtitles in several languages
Speech is:
"Those who dare to invade our lands, those who bring their terror, their war, those who insult our culture our beliefs they will pay the price at the hands of the Sons of God....Let his work be done."
Then first David and then Marcia are beheaded. Heads are held up to the camera amid shouts and cheers from the masked men. Cuts back to the studio and Johnny.
Smiling photos of David and Marcia appear on screen. Cuts back to Johnny. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Wow now thats what I call a Kodak moment folks ha,ha,ha,ha, Well, you can tell they didn't expect things to turn out like that. Thats something to tell the folks about back home about ha,ha,ha,ha....Oh sorry. Its hard to talk when you've lost your head like that. And here are some of our favourite David and Marcia moments."
Applause and cheers from the audience. Cuts to interview with Johnny and David and Marcia in their home.
Johnny Paradis'
"So guys, whats it like to be chosen from over one and a half million applicants worldwide to be on Globetrotters?"
Marcia
"We're so just so excited,just so excited we still can't believe it, and when I told my family and friends they were all like "OH MY GOD" that's unbelievable they were all just so happy for us!"
David
"It's a dream come true for us Johnny....I see it as our chance to really be someone....Someone real....Someone that matters."
Cuts to a scene of them on a truck in the jungle firing guns at another 4X4 chasing them. The trucks are bouncing around travelling at high speed.
Johnny Paradis'
"Who can forget that chase in Columbia? Not me, that's for sure and who'd have thought Marcia was such a good shot?"
Slow motion shot Marcia firing a gun and hitting the driver of the chasing 4X4. Cuts to a scene of them running through a slum in the Gaza strip. In the background fighting is going on between armed militias.
Johnny Paradis'
"Remember their adventure in the Gaza strip folks? What a week that was!"
Cuts to a scene of them arguing over directions and the price of Semtex. They are standing in an alleyway.
David
"I can't believe you agreed to that price for 20 kilos of Semtex, Christ I don't know if we'll be able to make a profit on it now. Shit we'll be lucky to break even."
Marcia
"I don't give a shit about that right now we got the stuff and thats, that. What I'm worried about is we have no fucking idea where we are or how to get back to the hotel. I've got a massage and facial booked for three you know. And if I miss that its non-refundable. I need to look my best in all these challenges I'm not going on TV looking like I've just been dragged through a hedge backwards, you have no idea what its like to be a woman."
Johnny Paradis'
"And who would have thought that Semtex would be so expensive and the hotel so hard to find again? Ah, the memories. Sometimes thats all we have left. Especially after the souvenirs have been re-gifted."
Cuts to a scene of them both smiling thumbs up saying.
David & Marcia
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Applause and cheers from the audience. Studio lights dim and Johnny takes on a very sombre tone.
Johnny Paradis'
"David and Marcia your trot around the globe has ended and you are gone but we'll never forget you, why you've had nearly a million messages left on Facebook since you came on Globetrotters. We'll never forget all those little things that made you, you and if we do, well we can always Goggle you ha,ha,ha,ha.Thanks guys you were great! Its just a shame your heads ended up on a plate oh my, what poetry. Now theres an idea, the Johnny Paradis' book of verse."
Tune in next week for the next exciting episode of Globetrotters. Same Globetrotter time same Globetrotter channel.
"It has all been worked out for you now my friend David."
Marcia
"What's been worked out? We paid them to get us over the border with the well you know....What does he mean? Who are those men?"
David
"Shut up will you....Let me think....What's going on Youssef?"
Youssef
"You will go with these men that is all."
David
"What the fuck ! You said you would get us over the border and to where our rendezvous point is,you swore you would take us to...."
Youssef
"And you are now in that province I have kept my word."
David
"Surely we can work something out ? If its more money you need we can get you more look here take this."
The group of men walk towards them guns pointed at them.
Youssef
"Do as they say and all will be well In shah Allah."
The men grab both David and Marcia.
David
"Get your fucking hands off me, let go of me! What are you doing? I'll get you for this you bastard I'll fucking get you!"
Marcia
"You animals, bastards let me fucking go. Let me go......let me go."
They are dragged off kicking and screaming until they are knocked out and bound by the group of men. Cuts to a youtube video. Both are tied and kneeling a group of men stand behind them holding guns and largeknives in front of a flag. A political/revolutionary speech is made in a foreign language with subtitles in several languages
Speech is:
"Those who dare to invade our lands, those who bring their terror, their war, those who insult our culture our beliefs they will pay the price at the hands of the Sons of God....Let his work be done."
Then first David and then Marcia are beheaded. Heads are held up to the camera amid shouts and cheers from the masked men. Cuts back to the studio and Johnny.
Smiling photos of David and Marcia appear on screen. Cuts back to Johnny. Applause and cheers from the audience.
Johnny Paradis'
"Wow now thats what I call a Kodak moment folks ha,ha,ha,ha, Well, you can tell they didn't expect things to turn out like that. Thats something to tell the folks about back home about ha,ha,ha,ha....Oh sorry. Its hard to talk when you've lost your head like that. And here are some of our favourite David and Marcia moments."
Applause and cheers from the audience. Cuts to interview with Johnny and David and Marcia in their home.
Johnny Paradis'
"So guys, whats it like to be chosen from over one and a half million applicants worldwide to be on Globetrotters?"
Marcia
"We're so just so excited,just so excited we still can't believe it, and when I told my family and friends they were all like "OH MY GOD" that's unbelievable they were all just so happy for us!"
David
"It's a dream come true for us Johnny....I see it as our chance to really be someone....Someone real....Someone that matters."
Cuts to a scene of them on a truck in the jungle firing guns at another 4X4 chasing them. The trucks are bouncing around travelling at high speed.
Johnny Paradis'
"Who can forget that chase in Columbia? Not me, that's for sure and who'd have thought Marcia was such a good shot?"
Slow motion shot Marcia firing a gun and hitting the driver of the chasing 4X4. Cuts to a scene of them running through a slum in the Gaza strip. In the background fighting is going on between armed militias.
Johnny Paradis'
"Remember their adventure in the Gaza strip folks? What a week that was!"
Cuts to a scene of them arguing over directions and the price of Semtex. They are standing in an alleyway.
David
"I can't believe you agreed to that price for 20 kilos of Semtex, Christ I don't know if we'll be able to make a profit on it now. Shit we'll be lucky to break even."
Marcia
"I don't give a shit about that right now we got the stuff and thats, that. What I'm worried about is we have no fucking idea where we are or how to get back to the hotel. I've got a massage and facial booked for three you know. And if I miss that its non-refundable. I need to look my best in all these challenges I'm not going on TV looking like I've just been dragged through a hedge backwards, you have no idea what its like to be a woman."
Johnny Paradis'
"And who would have thought that Semtex would be so expensive and the hotel so hard to find again? Ah, the memories. Sometimes thats all we have left. Especially after the souvenirs have been re-gifted."
Cuts to a scene of them both smiling thumbs up saying.
David & Marcia
"NOW THATS AN ADVENTURE!"
Applause and cheers from the audience. Studio lights dim and Johnny takes on a very sombre tone.
Johnny Paradis'
"David and Marcia your trot around the globe has ended and you are gone but we'll never forget you, why you've had nearly a million messages left on Facebook since you came on Globetrotters. We'll never forget all those little things that made you, you and if we do, well we can always Goggle you ha,ha,ha,ha.Thanks guys you were great! Its just a shame your heads ended up on a plate oh my, what poetry. Now theres an idea, the Johnny Paradis' book of verse."
Tune in next week for the next exciting episode of Globetrotters. Same Globetrotter time same Globetrotter channel.
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